But... My Dad is Superman!

Have you ever had a day where life changed? And I mean REALLY changed? Well, I did yesterday sort of. Some of you may know that my Dad has been sick for a very long time. About 9 years to be exact. He's been in and out of the hospital so many different times we lost count about 8 and a half years ago. I was talking to my brother and we estimate that if we counted the all the days that dad has been in the hospital or care center for the last 9ish years, we think he spent almost 2 years in the hospital! Fun life don't you think? Well, after what started out as pancreatitis and gallbladder removal, which carried on the chronic pancreatitis, a major surgery to try and fix that, heart problems, to a liver transplant, to kidney failure, dialysis, more heart problems, and more dialysis, we were told that Dad is no longer a candidate for a kidney transplant because he's too sick. After several falls over the last couple of months (one that included a small brain bleed) Dad has decided to stop any further treatment and went home from the hospital for the last time last night. I support my Dad's decision 110%. He fought a tough battle over the last decade or so. He's been through more than I know I could ever handle. He's fought well and he's fought hard, but I'd be a liar if I didn't say that part of me wishes he'd change his mind. He's my Dad and I can't imagine a world without him in it. Yesterday after Dad told us his decision and we'd talked to the doctors and Mom was working on getting the logistics taken care of it was my job to call other people in the family and tell them what's going on. Talk about a surreal event. I called my aunts and uncles, I answered questions and most of them really shocked me to be honest. I don't know why, if I had gotten a call like that about my sibling I would ask the same questions. I just sat there thinking that this couldn't really be happening. How could my Dad be dying? How could the guy that I gave a Superman T-shirt for Father's Day (because to me that's who he is -- Superman) really die? How is that possible? With all these people around me, my mother, my brothers, sister, husband, kids, and some very dear friends why do I feel all alone? There was only one other time that I've felt this alone and this terrified in my life, and it was the best worst experience of my life. The world changed, I changed. Things have never been the same since, somehow I feel like that's going to happen again. So, yesterday life changed but it's only the precursor to when things are really going to change. As I sit here, after only a couple of hours of restless sleep I'm terrified by the week ahead. What exactly is my role? And the bigger question: How exactly do I say good-bye to the one man that has meant the most to me my entire life?

HELLO AGAIN!!!!!

So I've been thinking that it's time to start up the old blog again. I've been feeling this way for a long time, and I even went back and read some of my old posts. Some of them aren't too bad. And then the email came....

Yesterday while I was diligently working an email came in about a job posting for the company I work for. Part of the duties for this job were to monitor posts on FaceBook, Twitter, YouTube and blogs about the company I work for. And it got me thinking; I know that's almost always NOT a good thing for me, but oh well. It got me thinking about how much the internet and media has become part of life for the Average American.

Not only do most homes in America have at least 1 computer (I would bet that most have more than one) but almost everyone has a cell phone. For me I don't even shower without my phone being at least a few feet away. Greg carries his phone on his belt almost all the time. I literally have the internet within a few feet of me 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

As a parent access to the internet makes me nervous to say the least. I don't think its even possible to go 1 week without hearing about online predators. But the great thing about this technology is that I can reach my kids anytime of the day or night (when they decide to answer their phones).

The internet has changed everything about the world. The need for an actual book is quickly becoming a thing of the past. And that fact absolutely breaks my heart! There's nothing like curling up with a good book, or soakin in the tub for a few hours and reading. And no, curling up with the Kindle or a Nook is not the same thing!! And soaking in the tub while reading off a Kindle or a Nook could be down-right dangerous!!!

Homework time is always fight time at my house. There is always a huge fight over who can use the computer first. I'm begining to like the idea of laptops for all 5 of us, unfortunatley my bank account HATES the idea!! I really don't think that my kids can do their homework without the computer. They don't cheat, I watch every move they make. Katie for instance logs on to FaceBook and chats with her other "QUESTIES" (a school group she's in) about their homework assignments and upcoming projects.

I'm sure at this point your asking yourself what the point of this post is. So I'll tell you. The point is: I'm tired of hearing about all the bad things about internet and Social Media sites. There are just as many good things that come with the bad.

I have become a celebrity

I have become a celebrity. Because of my children. This isn't a new thing for me, I've always been a very proud mom to all three of my kids. I hear things like "Chris is so smart, Katie is so beautiful, and Kolbie is so cute". Or I'll hear: "your kids are all so well mannered" (which makes me laugh, by the way). But now I have become a celebrity a real celebrity; but hopefully not in the same class as Lindsey Lohans parents, or like Jon and Kate.

And it all started with: Aladdin Jr.!!!

This year the Jr. High is putting on a production of Aladdin Jr. I wasn't suprised when Chris told me he wanted to try-out but I was down right shocked when Kate told me that she wanted to try out as well. Well, Kate is on the chorus in one cast and on the stage crew for the other, and Chris...well, Chris is the Genie. I think that Mrs. Johnson was type-casting a little bit when she cast him as Genie. He's tall, goofy, likes to tell stupid jokes, and loves to be the center of attention.

Auditions were 2 weeks before Christmas, and I will never forget the phone call we got from Chris telling us he got the part. We were off celebrating our anniversary doing what we always do...our christmas shopping (oh joy). I was so excited and happy for him I cried, it was definatley what you'd call a proud mom moment.

Well, rehersals started in Janurary and both of the kids have been going faithfully to all of their rehersals for three solid months. Sometimes they would leave for school at 5 or 6am and not get home until 5 or 6pm. Honestley, both of them have put their hearts and souls into this production.

Well, Monday was the big day. Their first performance. One of the local elementary schools walked over to see the play. I was amazed at how well the play was. It was obvious that all the hard work of all the teachers, and kids had paid off. Both of the kids were amazing. Katie hit her que right on time and opened the floor where Jafar falls into when he gets made a Genie. And Chris got the loudest cheer on the whole cast.

Tuesday Hunter Elementary came for a performance. Katie got to perform she's a harem girl (I don't really like the sound of that, but what do I know?) and she was amazing. She got loud cheers from her friends and former teachers and several told me that "she did such a great job. Tell her that I'm so proud of her." And Chris was a hit (as usual), the only difference was, this time we new so many of the audience. Greg and I got up to leave and we were swarmed by students and teachers saying? "Katie and Chris were amazing!!! Katie looked so pretty in her yellow costume and Chris was soooooooo funny."

The real fun started when some of the kids we didn't know figured out our son was "The Genie". I heard all kinds of things from those kids:

His jokes are sooooo funny!!!

Did he really shave his head?

How did you turn him blue?

Does it take a long time to put on all that make-up?

How long does it take to take it off?

I have to say that being a bit of a "celebrity" is sort of fun. It's pretty cool to hear things like: "Look, it's the Genies mom." I'm sure they were all thinking about how young and attractive I am. ;)

There is a downside to the life of a celebrity like:

I've had to listen to more than the usual amount of goofy jokes.

I know that play by heart.

I hear the music in my dreams.

All we've heart from Katie for the last week is how she "HAS TO HAVE" a flesh colored t-shirt, & tights.

And there was a HUGE contreversy yesterday morning that had something to do with blue eyeshadow.

My bathtub is tinted blue, (and so is my son) and I don't know if it will ever go away.

And today, it's been almost 20 hours since I've slept, but I had to come home from working an all night inventory shift and paint my son blue.

All that being said, I am having a week full of Proud Mom moments. I am so proud of Chris, Kate, and the cast because they've all worked so hard. I'm proud of the commitment that Chris and Kate have made, but I'm the most proud because they've done this together. They've made friends together, and most important, they've made some great memories. A couple of months ago Katie told me that she loves Chris because he's her best friend. There are sure benefits to being a celebrity Mom.

WE'D LOVE TO SEE YOU ALL AT THE PLAY THIS WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY, AND FRIDAY. SHOWTIME IS AT 7PM!!!!!

I'm giving the production 2 BIG THUMBS UP!!!!!!

I'D LIKE AN EXPLAINATION PLEASE!!!!!!!

Hello again. I had an interesting experience today at work. The Loss Prevention agent (his name is A.J. and he cusses like a sailor) got a "stop" today. He caught a woman who was with her teenage daughter and her baby trying to steal $327.00 dollars worth of swimsuits (that she should NEVER wear, just trust me on that). This was his 3rd stop for the month and this is the first week of our fiscal year, so he started the year ON FIRE! To be honest, I really like working with AJ, he makes me laugh and his attitude about work and life has changed my view about things. He's always smiling and he always makes me laugh.

Anyway, he stopped this woman from shoplifting. 327 dollars worth of merchandise!! I've worked in retail a long time, and I've seen a lot of shoplifters, but I just don't understand it. I love to get free stuff! Who doesn't? But I can't just take something that's not mine.

Well anyway, AJ brought the woman back to the office along with a Jordan Landing security guard and sat her down. At that point I got out of that office FAST! I felt very uncomfortable. Amanda was the lucky one to stay back there with them. I did hear a few things that AJ said to her. He told her to have a seat, and then just said simply: "...ok, talk to me." This surprised me, I don't know why, what do you say when you catch a thief? How about: "Hey stupid, what were you thinking?" He was very professional about the entire thing.

I've watched alot of LP agents over my "career" (if that's what you call it). And I've come to one conclusion: I COULD NEVER WORK IN LOSS PREVENTION!!!! I'm just way too trusting of people. I don't understand how or why people would take advantage of someone else. I admit I'm very naive.

I guess the thing that shocked me the most today was this woman was as cool as a cucumber. If I was every stupid enough to do something like that (I think the only way I could would be to feed my children) and got caught, I would have a major meltdown!!! I would cry, and cry, and cry. I would be so embarrassed!!! Dealing with the LP agent and the security guard would be bad enough, but then when the Cops show up I think I'd faint. They'd probably have to call the paramedics and have me sedated.

All joking aside, I really don't understand stuff like this. These are the same people that complain about prices being so high and the economy being bad. The people who complain about insurance premiums being so high are the ones who just pocket the insurance check and don't get their car fixed. Why do people think they deserve something for nothing? I JUST DON'T GET IT!!!

Wouldn't life be much more simply for everyone if we could all try to be honest all the time. I'm not perfect, but I try.

What do you think?

That's all for today.

"...SHUT-UP!!! I WAS TRYING TO HIT YOU STUPID!!!!"

Sometimes the things that happen in my home make me laugh, and sometimes make me cry. Then there are things that happen that make me cry because I'm laughing. Luckily we had one of those experiences.

Chris and Katie are having some friends over tomorrow night to watch movies, eat, and "hang out" (whatever that means). I have SERIOUS ANXIETY when I have people over to my house. The house is never clean enough, the walls all need fresh paint, we need new carpet, I don't cook the way I should, my dishes don't match (when they are clean), and on and on and on. One of the biggest problems I have when it comes to my home is that I HATE to clean. I HATE IT!!!! I look for any excuse to not clean (which is kind of weird considering my biggest excuse to not have people over is because my house isn't clean enough). Here are some of my best excuses:

- I just don't want to.
- I sneezed a couple of hours ago and that means I must be coming down with
something therefore, I must rest.
- We don't have the right kind of cleaning supplies.
- I can't handle the fumes from the cleaning supplies, they always give me headaches.

AND MY FAVORITE:

- The house is just too dirty to clean.

Writing this down makes me realize how stupid it sounds. If I had a dollar for every time there was a fight around here about cleaning or doing the laundry, I'd be able to...hire a housekeeper.

Well, back to my story. Chris and Katie and I were in the kitchen making a shopping list and a to-do list so they could be prepared for their party. Kolbie came home from school and was making herself a snack. I don't remember exactly what Katie said to Kolbie, but I do remember it was snotty. I turned my head to see how Kolbie reacted to see her try to hit Kate with a dishtowel, she missed and hit me right in the face. Everything suddenly went very, very, quiet. Kolbie had a look of pure terror on her face. Chris and Kate we both holding their breath wondering if I was going to have a huge meltdown. The next thing I know I glance at Chris and HE'S CRYING!!! And then I look at Katie, and SHE'S CRYING. When I looked at Kolbie she was terrified!!! I looked at my children again, and there was an explosion of laughter from the older two. The next thing I know, Chris and Katie are literally on the floor in the dining room, laughing so hard they are crying. And this only mad Kolbie mad...no...this only made Kolbie REALLY, REALLY MAD!!

Kolbie has a flare for the dramatic (a trait she gets completely from her father, not from me), so the next thing I know she's screaming at Chris and Katie to "...SHUT-UP!!! I WAS TRYING TO HIT YOU STUPID!!!!!!!"

This was one of those wonderful situations in parenthood that you bite your lip so hard your bleeding so you won't laugh at your children. I honestly was not mad at Kolbie, I was irritated that she was trying to hit her sister, but I wasn't mad. But seeing the look on her face when she realized what she'd done was just hilarious.

The funniest thing about this story is that not 3 minutes before all this occurred I was instant messaging a friend of mine and asked her if she had an idea of something I could blog about. Her response was "No. If I had an idea, I would have blogged about it." I told her what was happening with the kids, and her response was "...see, at your house if you stand still for a minute something will always happen that you can blog about." She was, of course, right. If you just stand back and watch, you'll ALWAYS find something to write about, and you'll ALWAYS be entertained.

We have our ups and downs. And a lot of the time it feels like we have more downs than ups, but these 4 people (mainly the kids) are always entertaining. My kids give me more to think about, laugh about and cry about than anyone else on the planet.

Nights With No Sleep

Hello to both of you who read this, it's been a while.

For those of you who know me I have trouble sleeping. Infact, right now it's almost midnight on a Monday night and I think its going to be a long night. I was thinking about why I have such a hard time sleeping last night while I was laying in bed trying to sleep. Smart, huh?

As I sit here at my computer blogging at all hours of the night I'm also sitting here listening to my ipod and wondering if any of my friends are awake so we could chat. The nights get that long and boring. If your awake, text me if I happen to be awake, I'll respond, or if by some miracle I'm asleep we can talk in the morning. My brother and I text and talk all night. I guess we're the lucky ones with the insomnia genes.

I have so much time being awake all night I've read countless books, taken more hot baths trying to relax, but finally I've given up.

Now I watch movies (or favorite TV shows on Netflix -- how did people survive without the internet?). Greg laughs and says that he's memorized Bridgette Jones Diary in his sleep literally. He also says that about: Pride and Predjudice, Bull Durham, You've Got Mail, Elizabeth, Sense and Sensibility, She's Having a Baby (one of my favorite movies of my youth), Love Actually (which I might watch tonight), West Side Story, Rent, and dozens of others. I feel that this should make Greg more well-rounded and happy individual being exposed to so many things and ideas than he normally wouldn't be. He doesn't really feel that way. We've had more than one heated conversation about watching movies at 3am. So what do I do?

I decided to start reading. And what happens? Greg kicks me out of our room! Why? Because I have been known to read some FUNNY books and they make me laugh. Recentley I've been really sad books. Books about King Henry VIII (that man was a dog) and he's always lying, cheating, or chopping the heads off of someone important. And reading Nicholas Sparks books. TOTAL DOWNERS!!! After the last 2 books I thought I might decide to go jump off a building. So I decided to read some of the funnies books I've ever read. They are the Princess Diaries Series by Meg Cabot. I know this is teen fiction, but hey? Who cares? Well...after being told that my movies are pretty much a pain in the ass, I start reading. And these books MAKE ME LAUGH!!!! And that's more annoying than listening to movies in your sleep.

Please help me understand this!!! A laughing wife is more difficult than a wife that's about ready to jump off a building because she's so depressed?

Maybe I should start reading the old testament to help me fall asleep.

Does anyone have any ideas? I'm going to buy some chocolate milk.

Sometimes your biggest blessing are staring you in the face, or are a phone call away

Again, it's been a long time since I put anything on here. But I can't end my day without writing about it. It was one of those days that I just can't forget, so I need to write it down so I can remember it when I need to. Please ignore all misspelling and typos.

My day started as normal, I couldn't sleep so I woke up grumpy and yelled at my family about something stupid that really didn't matter in the long run. I think it was about not being able to take a shower when I wanted to. Like I said, something really stupid.

When I was able to take my shower I got ready and went to the doctors office, for yet another appointment, for yet more news I really didn't want to hear. I dealt with a receptionist that obivously didn't want to be there and I have never had a positive experience with. On the upside of my morning Greg did go with me to my appointment, so I was glad to spend more time with him. Although you wouldn't know it by my behavior. At that point we went to the pharmacy and spent a couple hundred dollars on medications that will hopefully more my "situation" easier to deal with until we (meaning me, Greg, and my doctor, who is a nice guy but is REALLY difficult to get an appointment with which can be frustrating).

Though I shouldn't have been happy about it Kolbie stayed home from school again today. She has a nagging cough, but nothing else is wrong with her but I didn't want her to share any germs with any innocent classmates. It was really nice to have somebody at home with me during the day the days can get long and depressing with notbody here to talk to. I am so thankful for this computer (that I spend too much time with but it's really great to be able to connect with somebody even online).

Once Kolbie and I got home from the doctors and the pharmacy we changed into our jammies and started to relax for the afternoon, and Greg was hurrying off to work upset that every took so long because he's really busy. But I had one huge problem once I got settled, WE HAD NOTHING TO EAT IN OUR HOUSE. And when I say nothing, I mean really nothing people! Kolbie tried to grate slice cheese because she wanted nachos. I don't care who you are, that's just gross!!! We have been so busy, and I've been "on the bench" poor Greg is just too busy to do any grocery shopping. Please understand that I am not being critical of Greg, he's working so hard, and you can only do so much.

To be completely honest about things, my heart is breaking for Greg and the kids. Unfortunatley they are dealing with the hardest part of this situation. I can't drive them anywhere, and I'm so emotional about things I cry all the time. Infact I just woke my husband up at midnight (which I'm sure he appreciated since he has to work early tomorrow) in tears. But I couldn't really tell you what I was upset about. I just worry like any parent and wife about problems that you can't fix and just don't seem to go away.

Seeing my worry for Greg and the kids I did take action. I called the Relief Socity President (that always helps me figure things out when things get tough though she would never admit to it). Thank you, you know who you are. And I realized that I just needed to "suck it up" and get myself to the grocery store. One huge difficulty we're having as a family is that I can't drive. Fortunatley, I am blessed with great friends and neighbors. I called around to see what everybody was doing. Most of my neighbors were doing their homeschool duty (which I'm finding more amazing and not as "unusual" as I once thought), but remembered a friend that mentioned that if I ever needed a ride anywhere (or anything else for that matter) to give her a call. So I did, and to her credit she was at my house within 15 minutes. We all say "give me a call" or "if you need anything", but do we really mean it? she was there when me (and my family) needed her. And to top it all off, she has 2 small children. Anyway, she came and picked me up and off to Walmart we went.

My friend let me do as much shopping as I needed ($200 dollars worth -- that just goes to show you how depleated my family was), when she only spent $30 bucks at the most. She never complained, or made me feel hurried. Infact, she got mad a me for buying her kids a Happy Meal from McDonalds and for me leaving a couple packages of chocolate-chip cookies in her car (I honestly think she was a little annoyed when I told her that I knew nothing about any cookies).

The entire point of all my rambeling tonight is to say thank you to a couple of friends that were as good as their word, and taught me a lot today. Sometimes we forget that our biggest blessing are staring us right in the face, or are literally a phone call away. It was hard for me to swallow my pride and call a few friends to ask for some very needed help, but they didn't question and were so respectful and giving it just amazes me. My friends understood that it's tough for me to ask for help, again.

I came home from Walmart absoutley exhausted and ready for a nap, but very greatful and happy. Chris put the grocerys away before football practice (which another friend came and drove him to I am blessed in so many ways it amazes me), and as I relaxed (I will save how amazing my children are for another post, but I think you all know how absolutely amazing they are) I thought about how much I learned today.

Thank you for all you do, arranging a few means, rides to practice and dance class, and a ride to the grocery store never meant so much.