"...SHUT-UP!!! I WAS TRYING TO HIT YOU STUPID!!!!"

Sometimes the things that happen in my home make me laugh, and sometimes make me cry. Then there are things that happen that make me cry because I'm laughing. Luckily we had one of those experiences.

Chris and Katie are having some friends over tomorrow night to watch movies, eat, and "hang out" (whatever that means). I have SERIOUS ANXIETY when I have people over to my house. The house is never clean enough, the walls all need fresh paint, we need new carpet, I don't cook the way I should, my dishes don't match (when they are clean), and on and on and on. One of the biggest problems I have when it comes to my home is that I HATE to clean. I HATE IT!!!! I look for any excuse to not clean (which is kind of weird considering my biggest excuse to not have people over is because my house isn't clean enough). Here are some of my best excuses:

- I just don't want to.
- I sneezed a couple of hours ago and that means I must be coming down with
something therefore, I must rest.
- We don't have the right kind of cleaning supplies.
- I can't handle the fumes from the cleaning supplies, they always give me headaches.

AND MY FAVORITE:

- The house is just too dirty to clean.

Writing this down makes me realize how stupid it sounds. If I had a dollar for every time there was a fight around here about cleaning or doing the laundry, I'd be able to...hire a housekeeper.

Well, back to my story. Chris and Katie and I were in the kitchen making a shopping list and a to-do list so they could be prepared for their party. Kolbie came home from school and was making herself a snack. I don't remember exactly what Katie said to Kolbie, but I do remember it was snotty. I turned my head to see how Kolbie reacted to see her try to hit Kate with a dishtowel, she missed and hit me right in the face. Everything suddenly went very, very, quiet. Kolbie had a look of pure terror on her face. Chris and Kate we both holding their breath wondering if I was going to have a huge meltdown. The next thing I know I glance at Chris and HE'S CRYING!!! And then I look at Katie, and SHE'S CRYING. When I looked at Kolbie she was terrified!!! I looked at my children again, and there was an explosion of laughter from the older two. The next thing I know, Chris and Katie are literally on the floor in the dining room, laughing so hard they are crying. And this only mad Kolbie mad...no...this only made Kolbie REALLY, REALLY MAD!!

Kolbie has a flare for the dramatic (a trait she gets completely from her father, not from me), so the next thing I know she's screaming at Chris and Katie to "...SHUT-UP!!! I WAS TRYING TO HIT YOU STUPID!!!!!!!"

This was one of those wonderful situations in parenthood that you bite your lip so hard your bleeding so you won't laugh at your children. I honestly was not mad at Kolbie, I was irritated that she was trying to hit her sister, but I wasn't mad. But seeing the look on her face when she realized what she'd done was just hilarious.

The funniest thing about this story is that not 3 minutes before all this occurred I was instant messaging a friend of mine and asked her if she had an idea of something I could blog about. Her response was "No. If I had an idea, I would have blogged about it." I told her what was happening with the kids, and her response was "...see, at your house if you stand still for a minute something will always happen that you can blog about." She was, of course, right. If you just stand back and watch, you'll ALWAYS find something to write about, and you'll ALWAYS be entertained.

We have our ups and downs. And a lot of the time it feels like we have more downs than ups, but these 4 people (mainly the kids) are always entertaining. My kids give me more to think about, laugh about and cry about than anyone else on the planet.

Nights With No Sleep

Hello to both of you who read this, it's been a while.

For those of you who know me I have trouble sleeping. Infact, right now it's almost midnight on a Monday night and I think its going to be a long night. I was thinking about why I have such a hard time sleeping last night while I was laying in bed trying to sleep. Smart, huh?

As I sit here at my computer blogging at all hours of the night I'm also sitting here listening to my ipod and wondering if any of my friends are awake so we could chat. The nights get that long and boring. If your awake, text me if I happen to be awake, I'll respond, or if by some miracle I'm asleep we can talk in the morning. My brother and I text and talk all night. I guess we're the lucky ones with the insomnia genes.

I have so much time being awake all night I've read countless books, taken more hot baths trying to relax, but finally I've given up.

Now I watch movies (or favorite TV shows on Netflix -- how did people survive without the internet?). Greg laughs and says that he's memorized Bridgette Jones Diary in his sleep literally. He also says that about: Pride and Predjudice, Bull Durham, You've Got Mail, Elizabeth, Sense and Sensibility, She's Having a Baby (one of my favorite movies of my youth), Love Actually (which I might watch tonight), West Side Story, Rent, and dozens of others. I feel that this should make Greg more well-rounded and happy individual being exposed to so many things and ideas than he normally wouldn't be. He doesn't really feel that way. We've had more than one heated conversation about watching movies at 3am. So what do I do?

I decided to start reading. And what happens? Greg kicks me out of our room! Why? Because I have been known to read some FUNNY books and they make me laugh. Recentley I've been really sad books. Books about King Henry VIII (that man was a dog) and he's always lying, cheating, or chopping the heads off of someone important. And reading Nicholas Sparks books. TOTAL DOWNERS!!! After the last 2 books I thought I might decide to go jump off a building. So I decided to read some of the funnies books I've ever read. They are the Princess Diaries Series by Meg Cabot. I know this is teen fiction, but hey? Who cares? Well...after being told that my movies are pretty much a pain in the ass, I start reading. And these books MAKE ME LAUGH!!!! And that's more annoying than listening to movies in your sleep.

Please help me understand this!!! A laughing wife is more difficult than a wife that's about ready to jump off a building because she's so depressed?

Maybe I should start reading the old testament to help me fall asleep.

Does anyone have any ideas? I'm going to buy some chocolate milk.