Friday, June 27, 2008

Lesson Learned

Yesterday, I was spending the afternoon watching the final game of the Baseball World Series between Fresno State and Georgia (Chris recorded it on our DVR) and Chris asked me: "Hey Mom? Why is it bad if people have sex with lots of people? I know that you tell us we shouldn't do that. And we learn that at church, but why?"

I was caught completely off guard by this question, so I took a deep breath counted to ten and answered the question the best that I could. I won't go into the specifics but Chris and I were able to have a very candid discussion about sex and why it's important to stay morally clean. The entire conversation lasted about 3 minutes and then we were back to betting on whether or not Gordon Beckham would play in Double A or Triple A next year.

Then, later that night, after Greg and the kids came home from visiting his Mom for her birthday Kate snuggled up to me and we chatted for about an hour. It was great! We laughed and joked and we even cried a little. Kate isn't one to really open up allot, but she did last night. She told me how she felt about her Grandma Kate, and what she thinks about her PaPa being very sick. She also told me how she feels about other family members and how things are going in our home. It was great to just listen.

I don't want to give the impression that we are always having these "learning and teaching moments" (funny thing, I'm supposed to be the one teaching and end up learning) all the time at our house, but they do happen.

The thing that I learned from my kids yesterday is that they talk when THEY are ready.

I was able to talk to Chris about some very grown up things, but he started the conversation. It wasn't a "...come sit down son, we need to talk..." situation. We were doing something he wanted to do and he felt comfortable asking (what could be) a difficult question. And I (hopefully) answered the question so he really heard me.

My time with Katie taught me allot too. She told me how she felt about so many things that I thought I already knew the answer to. She was honest about some things going on at home, and I really appreciate that. She also reminded me that she's still a little girl. She acts so grown up sometimes, I forget that she still needs me. I loved that she cuddled and talked to me. In fact, I fell asleep last night cuddling with both of my beautiful daughters.

I guess the moral of the story is: Kids will talk to you when they want to talk to you'd better be ready to listen.

3 comments:

Aly said...

I love those times with our kids too!!! I cherish every moment!!! That is what I really liked about my conversation with Annie the other day...it was HER asking and wanting to talk.

I make it a point to lay down next to them for a few minutes each night and talk. Sometimes it's silly, or small talk, but quite often it is when I find them most comfortable to open up about things.

I am glad that you were able to have such special conversations with Chris and Kate...they are such good kids:)

Betsy said...

Two months we had a combined lesson with the Priesthood. It was taught by our first counselor in the Stake Presidency and his wife. Their five kids are grown. They had an open-door policy with their bedroom. She said they knew they could come home from dates and their door was open. She said it was interesting that kids especially teen-agers seem to want to talk at ten o clock at night.

Sarah said...

The only thing that scares me is that Chloe is so far behind in her maturity level that I dont think she will ask about sex until she is 16. The child is 10 and will I think we are going to have to take her aside and tell her about it, Santa Clause, and everything else about the time she starts high school. I try to ask leading questions and she just doesnt care. Very frustrating! Oh well I guess she will when she is ready.