Today is my day off work. I stayed up last night to watch Letterman with Greg, and slept late this morning. It was great! I got up and took a quick shower, turned on the TV while I was getting cleaned up and saw a Public Service Announcement that really upset me.
It starts with a mother and daughter just leaving the mall after a day of shopping and the daughter comments on how she loves the dress they just bought. At this point I should explain that the daughter is a young looking teenager I'd say maybe 14years old. The daughter then asks her mother if she can wear her new dress to a party a friend of hers is having this weekend, I think the friends name was David. The mother asks the daughter is there will be adults there? The daughter says no. The mother then asks if there will be alcohol there. The daughter says she doesn't know for sure but probably. The mom then tells her daughter that she can't go to the party. The daughter then gets upset and asks her mom what the big deal is "...it's not like I've never had a beer before mom." The mom then falls down a flight of stairs in shock. The thing that really upset me about this commercial was that at the very end you hear a voice that tells you to: "Set firm drinking limits for kids that are 10 or younger." The end.
Excuse me but, WHAT THE HELL!!!??? Set firm drinking limits if your kids are 10 or younger? Am I the only person on earth that has a problem with that? 10 years old? How about setting firm drinking limits period, regardless of age?
Drinking and substance is something that we talk about a lot with our kids because it's something that our family has had to deal with. I am ashamed to say that I have had problems with substance abuse. It's not something that I'm proud of and it's very embarrassing. It's also something that I would do just about anything to keep my children from having to deal with. Seeing this PSA really shocked me, aren't setting drinking limits for a 10 year old kind of a given? I still control how much caffeine my kids consume when they're 10, but maybe I'm just a little over protective and am a bit in the dark about reality.
When Chris started Jr. High this year drinking and drug abuse was (and still is) something that I really worry about. Teenage years are so hard and there are so many changes sometimes you just want to forget about things for a while, and substance abuse can help with that for a little while. Unfortunately, things just get worse when you start to remember again.
We have some very close friends who have struggled with a son that has huge issues with drinking and drug abuse. In fact, this kid has spent time in jail because of his addictions. This kid is an amazing good kid. He's handsome, smart, funny, very social he's just made some really bad choices. His family is amazing: they're active members of the church, they go to the temple, have family prayer and scripture study, family home evenings, they spend time together and with their friends. They're amazing people, the kind of people that makes you feel better about yourself when your with them, and they have this huge struggle with one of their children. When I talk to my friend about her son, she says that you just can't talk to your kids enough about how real temptation is. She tells me all the time: talk to your kids about temptation, get them as prepared as you can, and be sure they know that you love them.
I was told by another friend that you can't just tell your kids to stay away from temptation anymore like I was when I was younger. You can't just tell your kids to stay away from drugs, alcohol, pornography, and all the other things that we're all faced with everyday. He said that those days are gone! He told me that we have to teach our children what to do when they are faced with these temptations because they will be tempted.
My feelings about the church have cooled somewhat over the last couple of years. I can't put my finger on exactly what my problem is. Do I believe in the gospel? Absolutely. But I'm tired. I know that sounds lame, but I just don't have that pull to the "church" that I used to have. I wish I did. I started reading the Book of Mormon every night with Kolbie for her nightly reading, and I chose this book for completely selfish reasons. I want that pull back, and I hope that by reading from the scriptures every night with Kolbie that would help light that fire again. The guilt that I have about this situation is huge, but I just can't seem to get things going. The thing is, is that I want that feeling back, but I just can't seem to find it.
Anyway, back to that commercial. I'm not stupid enough to think that my children will always make the right choices. I just pray that they will make more right choices than wrong ones. I pray that I can figure out where I fit in the church and that I can feel that "pull" back to the church. I also think it's time that we had a talk about drugs and drinking. The kids need to know not only that it's bad for their bodies and spirits, but they need to know exactly what Greg and I expect of them. I think it's a good thing that I saw that commercial today.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
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4 comments:
I agree with you about the PSA. We need to talk with our kids, at all ages, about the pressures that are out there.
As for feeling the pull to the church, come. You need to be there every Sunday (whether you want to or not). We all have had our times of struggle, but don't give up. KEEP COMING!!!!
Jill,
I finally got a copy of that book -- the church version of AA. I've only just started reading it, but it seems very applicable to everyone (like you said) and not just those trying to beat addictions. Thanks for recommending it.
I think we all go through times when we feel like you do, when we're just not feeling the guidance of the spirit like we need to. I've been thinking about this alot lately and talking about it with my sisters. I've come up with a silly analogy. I picture myself inside that BIG, metal tube slide at Liberty park, trying not to slide down, but to stay up near the top. (Dumb analogy, I know, but it works for me.) We have to continually watch ourselves and work to be worthy to have the spirit. If I mess up I slide fast, then have to work incredibly hard to get back up from near the bottom. If I get lazy and stop working (sleep in each Sunday for a month and miss church. Forget to pray or study--and then when I do remember I just think "oops, I forgot", but still don't take the time to stop and do it) I slide down; could be a little or it might be alot. If I hold still (miss personal prayer/scripture study one day) my hands and feet get sweaty and I slip. It's a constant struggle to stay right where I want to be. Ok, again, I know it's a dumb analogy and it makes me tired to think of all the things I need to do, and not just do, but do well. So I like this scripture (and there are more of them with similar messages, but I couldn't find them just now).
Mosiah 24:15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.
So if we're doing our part the Lord will make it easier for us to do them.
(I'm writing a novel!!!)
Hang in there--don't give up. I guess you could take a look at your life and see if there's anything you can cut back on that is sucking energy, so you'll have more for the important stuff. (I so need to take that advice too!)
By the way--I really like the flowers you added for your profile picture. I saw them on a comment you left on another blog.
Sorry I'm being preachy--not meaning too. Just saying what I'm thinking. Hang in there.
Carin
You are right, we need to teach our kids how to handle the temptation when it comes. Because it will come. Years ago we could tell them to stay away, but now a days they are going to be tempted.
I heard a similar commercial on the radio this morning. A mom tells her child that if there is going to be alcohol at a party that she should call and they will pick her up. I almost fell over! What is wrong with saying that if there is going to be alcohol then you cant go? Not to mention that if there arent going to be adults you cant go either! Maybe my kids arent old enough yet but really, if you dont want your kids to be around it then tell them that it isnt acceptable.
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