Today I drove (all by myself) to my doctors office to pick up a note that my boss asked for. Then I went into work for the first time since March. My official return to work date is September 14th. I'm so nervous every time I think about it I want to throw up.
Since going on disability (I was forced to by my previous General Manager) they have changed my General Manager. I've never worked with Bobby before (for any extended period of time). He seemed pleased that I brought in what he asked for, so I asked him how I thought everyone would take my coming back. FYI: My official title is Logistics Supervisor. He said that he didn't really know how everyone would take me coming back. He said that he's heard some negative things, but promised not to make any judgements about me until I've come back to work. That's fair, but it also puts a ton of pressure on me to perform well.
When I got my promotion last November I felt like I'd hit the jackpot, AND won the lottery. I'm still surprised that I have this position. Don't get me wrong, I've worked my ass off (sorry) to get that job, but I don't know if I really deserve it. And I don't know if I can be successful. Greg tells me that "...of course you can be successful, just stop thinking so much." Thanks my darling husband, but that doesn't make me feel much better.
I guess my game plan is to focus on my strengths. Which have always been, Markdowns (not my favorite thing), make sure signage is correct, upstock, and speed, speed, and speed. Maybe if I focus on those 4 things I just might make it. The weird thing is, before I got this promotion, I felt very, very confident in what I do. I just wish I could feel that way again, and quick!!!!!!!!!
I know that my job isn't very glamours, I don't teach children, care for the sick, or read to the blind, but I love my job! Even if it's just helping run and Old Navy. I know it's just T-shirts and flip-flops, but I love every last t-shirt and every pair of flip-flops.
Pray for me, I could use all the help I can get!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
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4 comments:
good for you jill. i will pray that things go well and send happy thoughts your way. i go back to work a week after you and right now i'm dreading it. i don't feel ready to leave my baby yet. oh well.
How funny you think teaching children is glamorous. I have the opposite opinion. The grass is always greener, right?
You are going to do great, so stop fretting about it and enjoy the rest of your 'vacation'. I'm sure you'll have that confident feeling about this new position after just a few weeks of doing it. Listen to Greg. He's right!
Congrats Jill. Just remember to relax and breath. Remember why you got the promotion to start with and Yes, you did deserve it. You will be fine.
It's like riding a bike! I had that same feeling when being away from the glass shop for a long time and then going back. Once you are there you will fall into your groove and start right where you left off, your strengths will still be there! You are going to do great, and being out of the house will boost your spirits so much...there is something about feeling accomplished when you find you are successful at work, and you will be:)
I like being home, but when I go to the shop and can start AND finish something and put a smile on a customers face it is a different feeling than working so hard all day at home and I still have kids whining for something more...they are just never satisfied:) At work it is a more accomplished and confidence building kind of feeling! At home that is few and far between and I think that satisfaction doesn't come for like 20 years or something...LOL!!!
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