Update

I went to the doctor today, and he removed the leads from my back. It didn't hurt, it actually felt really weird.

As it turns out I may not be able to have the implant after all. I was reading in the binder that they gave me the other day at the hospital, and it says that you can't have lithotripsy (the procedure that blows up kidney stones) if you have the device. I asked the dr about it and he said that he'd look into it. It's definitely a deal breaker for me. With the amount of kidney stone I produce, I can't take that option away. The only other option would be surgery, and I don't know how big a kidney stone has to get and they have to cut you open (as opposed to using the scope). This is very discouraging to me because I didn't really realize how much the implant was helping until it was gone today. I just really want to get this all done and get my life back. It didn't take away all my pain but it took away most of it. I feel like I can't really ask for more.

As much as I want the implant, the surgery to have it put in scares me to death. They have to cut me open in 2 places, I've never had that done before (which is pretty amazing considering how many surgeries I've had). They also said that they wouldn't knock me out under general anesthesia (sp?). I'd be under conscience sedation. What the heck does that mean anyway? They only thing I know for sure is that I won't remember anything (at least that's the way it's supposed to be, right Carin?:)

I guess this is where my faith has to come in. Do what you can, and hope (and pray) for the best. I just hate feeling like I have no control over my life. The thing that's really funny, is that I probably never had that much control to begin with.

P.S. Should I be worried that one of the options on my spell check for lithotripsy was deathtraps? :)